Dimensions of emotion regulation include

Physiological arousal regulation, cognitive evaluation regulation, behavioral expression regulation, and social situation regulation. However, scholars from different schools also have certain differences in the division of dimensions - for example, the classical psychoanalytic school will place additional emphasis on the independent value of subconscious conflict regulation, while the positive psychology camp prefers to use meaning construction as a separate dimension of regulation.

The first to be perceived and the easiest to produce results is physiological arousal regulation, which essentially directly adjusts the body's response to emotional triggers, such as soaring heart rate, tight shoulders and neck, and excessive cortisol levels. I received a visitor from the Internet industry last month. When I first sat down, my hands were shaking. He said that he had just had an argument with his boss and his chest hurt with anger and he couldn't speak smoothly. I was not in a hurry to ask for details. I first led him to do 3 rounds of 478 breathing, inhaling for 4 seconds, holding his breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling slowly for 8 seconds. In less than a minute, he said that most of the tightness in his chest was gone. In addition to breathing regulation, mindfulness body scans, half-hour jogging, and even stroking a cat for 10 minutes all fall into this category. Previous university research data shows that interacting with pets for 10 minutes can reduce the body's stress hormone cortisol levels by about 15%, and the effect is more obvious than drinking half a cup of warm milk.

Different from the "immediate effect" of physiological adjustment, the effect of cognitive evaluation adjustment is more lasting, and it is also the most discussed adjustment dimension at present. The core logic is that the emotion itself is not directly determined by the event, but by your interpretation of the event. I once met a young girl who had just graduated. During the probationary period, her supervisor rejected 3 proposals. She squatted downstairs in the company and cried for almost an hour. She felt that she would definitely not pass the probationary period, and she was going to collapse. Later, I went through the supervisor's suggestions with her, and each item had specific directions for adjustment. I even gave her a reference case. To put it bluntly, I thought she had a good foundation and was willing to spend time to guide her. I didn't want to fire her at all. She went back the same day, revised the plan and submitted it, and finally made it regular half a month in advance. However, it should be mentioned here that there is also controversy over the positioning of this dimension in the academic community: Practitioners of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) believe that cognitive regulation is the core of all emotional regulation, while counselors of the existential school are opposed to blindly asking clients to "adjust their thoughts." They feel that forcing themselves to "think more" will easily cause new internal friction, and accepting emotions must always come before adjusting cognition.

Many people always focus on "what to think" when adjusting their emotions, but forget that "how to do" is the most direct emotional outlet, which is the core of behavioral expression regulation. To put it bluntly, don’t keep your emotions bottled up in your heart, just find a way to release them that doesn’t hurt yourself or others. I keep a stack of useless express delivery forms in my desk drawer all year round. If I feel too exhausted after receiving visitors, or if I encounter something bad that makes me irritable, I will take them out and tear them into pieces. In two minutes, I can release the air that is stuck in my chest. Of course, you must also pay attention to boundaries. If you throw things and vent your anger on people around you when you are angry, that is not regulating, but losing control of your emotions.

In addition to exerting force on yourself, sometimes you just need to change places and stay for two minutes, and the emotion will disappear on its own - this is the role of social situation adjustment. An operation manager came to me and told me that every time she had an argument with a product, she would sit at her workstation and hold it in, getting more and more angry the longer she sat there. Later, she learned to go downstairs and walk around the company after the argument to look at the roses blooming on the roadside, or go to a convenience store to buy an iced Americano. Most of her anger was gone when she came back, and her communication efficiency was much higher. This dimension is also highly praised by ecological psychology researchers. They believe that emotions themselves are the product of the interaction between people and the environment. There is no need to force yourself to "look inward" whenever you encounter emotional problems. If you get away from the scene that triggers emotions, many troubles will naturally disappear.

Of course, there is no standard answer to the dimensional division of emotion regulation. Different schools have their own emphasis. For example, practitioners of classic psychoanalysis feel that the four dimensions just mentioned remain at the level of consciousness. Many recurring emotional distress are essentially unresolved subconscious conflicts - for example, some people can't help but lose their temper in intimate relationships. In fact, it is the trauma of being ignored by their parents when they were young. In this case, the dimension of "subconscious conflict adjustment" must be added. Only by making the subconscious content conscious through long-term consultation can the root cause of the problem be solved. Researchers in positive psychology are more willing to separate "meaning construction" as the fifth dimension, which is whether you can find the meaning of growth after encountering a negative event. For example, you only realize the importance of health after getting sick, and you only understand the boundaries of your abilities after experiencing a failed startup. The changes brought about by this kind of adjustment are often long-term, and can even directly improve a person's psychological resilience.

In fact, for ordinary people, there is no need to worry about which dimension division is more "correct", just use it flexibly when adjusting emotions. If you feel uncomfortable physically, adjust your breathing first. If you feel overwhelmed, try to think from a different angle. If you are holding back the discomfort, find a way to vent it. If you stay where you are, the more you think about it, the more angry you will be. Then go out and take a few steps. Oh, by the way, don’t think of “regulating emotions” as “all negative emotions must be eliminated.” Negative emotions themselves also have a signaling effect - anger reminds you that your boundaries have been violated, anxiety reminds you of potential risks, and occasionally emo for two or three days is not a big deal. If you always force yourself to be happy all the time, it will be more likely to cause problems, right?