What are the aspects of mental health?

Many people's understanding of mental health is still "healthy without depression, anxiety, and other diseases." In fact, it is a dynamic balance state that runs through our inner thoughts, emotional feelings, and external behaviors. The core covers several intertwined levels of cognitive rationality, emotional regulation ability, stable self-identity, benign interpersonal interaction, and smooth social adaptation. It has never been a separate independent standard.

In the five years I have been doing community psychological counseling, I have met many clients who seemed to have "no problem at all." Xiaoyu, a sophomore boy who came last week, is a typical example. He has always been among the top five in his grade and has no rebellious behavior in his work and rest schedule. His parents were even mentioned by the class teacher. Xing Cai brought him here - he couldn't help but steal the review materials of his deskmate. As long as the other party scored 0.5 points more than him in the mock test, he would have to stay up until two or three in the morning to study the questions. Even if he was already the first in the class, he still felt that "as long as someone is better than me, I will be finished." You can see that he is not obviously depressed and can go to school and take exams normally, but there has been an obvious cognitive deviation. He equates "surpassing everyone" with the meaning of his own existence. It is like a small bug in the underlying system of a mobile phone. On the surface, it runs normally, but in fact it may freeze and collapse at any time.

Many people think that "as long as I can hold back my emotions and not get angry, I can control it." This is not true. Sister Zhang, an Internet operator who came here last month, never quarreled with anyone in the company. Even when she was blamed by her colleagues or scolded by customers, she always responded with a smile. But when she got home, she didn't even have the strength to say a word to her son. No, I just slumped on the sofa in a daze without wanting to eat. This lasted for more than three months. Later I was diagnosed with chronic emotional exhaustion. Emotional regulation is never about "holding back and not bursting out." It is about being able to calmly accept your own different emotions such as happiness, anger, and grievance, and not be dragged away by any one emotion.

Nowadays, there is quite a quarrel on the internet regarding the criteria for judging mental health. One group says, "It's enough for me to feel happy." The other group says, "There's nothing wrong with me if I can go to work and go to school normally." In fact, both opinions are a bit extreme. A young girl who had just graduated came to consult me ​​before. She lay naked at home for more than two months, watching TV shows and eating takeout every day. She seemed carefree, but she even went downstairs to pick up the courier and had to wait for the courier to leave before she dared to open the door. When her friends asked her to go out for dinner, she found reasons to refuse. In fact, she was afraid of being rejected for finding a job. She deliberately used the saying "living down is very happy" to avoid the problem of social adaptation. This is obviously not considered healthy. ； There is also what everyone often calls "functional depression", which means that you go to work and get off work on time every day, do housework and take care of the children. Everything seems to be normal, but your heart is as numb as a pool of stagnant water, and you have no interest in anything. This has long since crossed the warning line of health.

In fact, we ordinary people don’t need to use academic standards to judge whether we are mentally healthy or not. If we feel uncomfortable for a week or two in a row, or we always think about things that are all over the place but can’t turn around, or we feel tired and want to avoid everyone we interact with, or we are not motivated even though we are not doing any heavy work, these are all signals sent by our body. Just like catching a cold and sneezing is not necessarily a severe cold, but it is time to drink more hot water and rest. Don’t wait until problems arise before you think about it.