What does emotion management c mean?

The "C" in emotional management that we often refer to is actually the core element of the ABC theory of emotions proposed by American psychologist Ellis. The full name is Consequence, which refers to the emotional feelings and behavioral responses we ultimately have after a specific event occurs.

Many people may have had a misunderstanding before, thinking that "bad things directly lead to bad emotions", that is, A (the inducing event) directly induces C, but in fact, B (our cognitive belief about the event) sandwiched between the two is the key to truly determining the direction of C. To put it bluntly, C is like an instant snapshot of your emotions and behavior. The timing of the photo is different, and the content of the photo is also different, but the core is your true reaction when facing the event.

Let’s just say that I received a consultation from a college student last week. The girl cried for half the night because her roommate went through the skin care products on her desk without saying hello. She even almost gave up on the professional exam the next day. She was sure at first that it was “my roommate has no boundaries (A) that made me feel so uncomfortable (C)”, but as we got deeper into the conversation, she realized that, She has been taught by her parents since she was a child that "if personal belongings are touched, it is disrespected." If it were another girl who was careless and thought it was okay for her roommate to use things, if the same thing happened, C would probably just casually say, "Let me know before you use it next time." It would not cause a fuss that would affect the exam at all.

Of course, the current definition of C in the industry is not completely unified. Practitioners who do first-line emotional counseling will mostly broaden the scope of C and include the secondary consequences brought about by emotions. For example, the girl just delayed the exam and had a cold war with her roommate, which are all extensions of C.； However, scholars doing basic research are more inclined to strictly limit C to the immediate reaction at the moment when the event occurs. They feel that including the subsequent chain results will confuse the accuracy of cognitive adjustment. Both have their own reasons, but the applicable scenarios are different.

For us ordinary people who practice emotional management, there is no need to get entangled in these academic differences. If we can detect what our current C is as soon as our emotions arise, we are already more than half of the people who are always led by their emotions. After all, only by first realizing, "I'm angry right now, and I might have to say something indiscriminately next," can you have the opportunity to stop your inertial reaction, go back and adjust your cognition B, and finally get a more peaceful result.