mental health mottos

There is no one-size-fits-all mental health maxim. All maxims that can really help you are "action anchors" that suit your personality and current situation, rather than moral standards that you must meet.

Not long ago, I met a young girl who worked in Internet operations. Her workstation was covered with slogans such as "Stop internal friction" and "Emotional stability is standard for adults." After enduring the Double 11 sales for 20 consecutive days, she hid in the fire escape and cried for ten minutes. Then she turned around and scolded herself for being useless: "I can't even control my emotions well. I'm such a failure." I was a little dumbfounded when I heard this - too many people treat the mental health maxims posted on the Internet as test papers, and give themselves zero points if they can't do it, completely forgetting that these sentences were originally used to help people loosen their bonds.

I have seen counselors from different schools. The mottos they talk about are completely two ways, and they even "set each other off". Psychoanalytic counselors always say, "There are no inexplicable emotions, only the unseen past." This does not mean that you should dwell on your childhood memories every day. It means that when you suddenly get angry over a trivial matter or feel depressed for no reason, don't rush to scold yourself for being "petty" or "glass-hearted." ", stop and touch the root of the emotion: Last time, a visitor broke down when the leader suggested revisions. Later, she remembered that every time she wrote a wrong word in an assignment in elementary school, her mother would tear up the entire assignment and ask her to rewrite it. Most of the anger she felt now was the grievances she had no place to express when she was a child.

However, counselors from the cognitive behavioral school will most likely shake their heads when they hear this. They feel that it is useless to dwell on old issues. Good sentences are those that can solve the current problem. What they talk about is "emotions are not facts, and actions precede feelings." This is a life-saving talisman for fearful people and perfectionists: you don’t have to wait for “I’m not nervous at all” before going on stage to report, you can just read it while shaking your legs while holding the manuscript. ； There is no need to wait for "I feel better" before starting to write a paper. Sit down and type 50 words first. It doesn't matter if you write poorly. After you start doing it, most of the worries that have been twisted into a ball will dissipate. I once had a visitor who was afraid of society and wrote this sentence on the back of the access card. Every time he went out to socialize, he would buy himself a cup of milk tea as a reward. Now he can take the initiative to invite colleagues to have hot pot.

I participated in an industry salon a while ago. There was an old consultant who had been in the industry for 20 years, holding an enamel jar with "Serving the People" printed on it and laughing. He said that young people today always like to look for "standard answers". In fact, there is no unified saying. The most useful motto he has ever seen is a severely depressed person. The young man who was recovering from depression wrote it himself. When it was at its most serious, he wrote "If you can get up and brush your teeth today, you have already won." Later, as he gradually recovered, he changed it to "You can rush if you want and lie down if you want. It doesn't count as a loss." It was posted on the refrigerator with an Ultraman sticker next to it.

Nowadays, there are always people on the Internet saying that "the mottos of psychology are chicken soup and useless". This is actually true - if you are a salesperson who works overtime every day to meet KPIs, and you have to force yourself to believe that "you need to slow down and experience life", it is really useless. On the contrary, you will become more anxious because you can't do it.； If you are a highly sensitive person whose strings are stretched to the point of breaking, and you still tell yourself "don't think too much and just do it" every day, then you are simply shackles on yourself. There is a saying in existential psychology that I like very much: "Anxiety is the price of freedom, and burnout is a signal of boundaries." A teacher who had just resigned and entered a university came to me for consultation and said that everyone envied her for being free from the system, but why did she suffer from insomnia and anxiety every day? When she saw this sentence, she suddenly cried. It turned out that her anxiety was not because she had made the wrong choice, but because freedom carried an uncertain weight after being separated from the stability of the routine. Her subsequent burnout was not because she was lazy, but because she always took the students' matters on her own shoulders. She even responded to the students' revision messages at two o'clock in the morning. Her boundaries were completely invaded, and she didn't notice it yet.

To put it bluntly, these maxims are never rules to tie you down, they are crutches to help you when you can't walk. Don't worry about which sentence is "right". If you read a sentence and feel relieved after reading it, then it is the best mental health motto for you. After all, we never live to live like the perfect person in a certain golden sentence, but to live as comfortable as we are.