Psychological stress relief methods

There is currently no universal stress release formula that applies to everyone. The core logic verified by the clinical psychology community and a large number of practitioners is "accept the emotion first, and then match the plan." For acute stress, first perform somatosensory adjustment to bring you back to the present moment. For chronic stress, prioritize cutting the stress source. For existential anxiety, you can try meaning construction. The method you find useful is the method that is most suitable for you.

Let’s talk about the consulting case we just received last week and you’ll understand: A little girl who works in Internet operations has just finished the seven-day night of Double 11. She took the subway three stops after work in the wrong direction before she realized what she was doing. She squatted on the platform and held her bag and cried, saying that she didn’t dare to go home because she was afraid that the family cat would feel sad for her if she saw her face full of tears. She had followed the trend and tried the mindfulness meditation recommended online. After sitting for three minutes, her mind was filled with the three plans to be revised and the expert she was going to talk to tomorrow. Her heart beat faster and faster as she sat, and she almost dropped her phone.

I didn't ask her to write any emotion diary at that time, but asked her to go to the convenience store and buy an iced orange, peel it while standing on the roadside, stare at the small dimples on the orange peel, smell the fragrance that hit her nose, chew it one piece at a time, without even pulling on the orange veins, and feel the bitter yet sweet juice exploding in her mouth. She later told me that when she peeled off the third flap, the air that had been blocked in her chest for almost a week suddenly relaxed. This method is called "grounding technique" in clinical practice. It is a commonly used acute stress adjustment method in the mindfulness school. The clinical intervention manual of Peking University Sixth Hospital also clearly mentions that when people are coerced into rumination by anxiety, mobilizing any of the senses of sight, touch, smell, taste, and hearing can quickly bring you back to reality from the mind of "what if you mess up."

Of course, many people think that this small-scale approach only treats the symptoms but not the root cause. This is actually the long-term dispute between the cognitive-behavioral school and the humanistic school: the former believes that the core source of stress is unresolved specific events, and emotions are just by-products, while the latter believes that seeing emotions itself can eliminate most of the stress. My friend who is a college counselor is a typical "problem solver". She has to deal with students' conflicts every day, fill out more than a dozen reports, and deal with various temporary inspections. Her way to relieve stress is to spend 10 minutes before getting off work every day to write a "stress list". She always said that by writing it down, you will know which things are futile worries and which things you can actually do tomorrow. The moment you cross out the completed items, the weight on your shoulders will be half lighter. However, this method is only suitable for transactional stress where the source of stress is clear. If you are currently worried about vague existential anxiety such as "not knowing what you will do in the future" and "what is the meaning of living", making a list will only become more annoying as you make it, and in turn increase internal friction.

Oh, by the way, there is another controversial point that has been quarreling for several years: Should we "coexist with stress" or "completely escape from the source of stress"? In fact, both sides are right, but the applicable scenarios are different. For short-term acute stress, such as the sprint before the postgraduate entrance examination and the week after the project wraps up, you don't have to spend time to "release stress". When I was taking the postgraduate entrance examination, I studied at two o'clock in the morning every day. The pressure was so intense that I lost my hair in handfuls, and I didn't think about decompressing. Anyway, I knew it would be over after I passed the exam. This kind of short-term controllable pressure will pass after you take it. The more you take it seriously, the easier it will be to catch you. But if you have chronic stress that has lasted for more than three months, such as being harassed at work for a long time and having conflicts at home every day, your talk of "coexisting with stress" is purely self-depletion. Survey data from the Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences in 2023 shows that among people with chronic stress, people who have a fixed "transition space" every day appear. The proportion of depression and anxiety tendencies is 42% lower - to put it bluntly, you don't need to make naked remarks or break up with each other immediately, but first find a buffer zone for yourself, such as going to the park to sit for half an hour after get off work before going home, or fixing one day a week not to touch work news at all. It is much more effective to separate stressful scenes from life scenes first than to carry it on.

To be honest, I have been through a lot of stress relief pits myself. I followed the trend and bought stress relief balls, and went to a stress relief center where I yelled. After shouting, my throat hurt like crazy, which made me even more annoyed. Later, I found my own exclusive switch: putting together a 100-piece small jigsaw puzzle doesn’t require a lot of brainpower. I just throw it away after finishing the puzzle, and there is no need to place it around to take up space. After finishing the puzzle in ten minutes, my mind is empty and my stress is gone. You really don’t need to learn any “high-quality stress relief method”. Whether you like to squat on the side of the road and watch an old man play chess for half an hour, whether you like to watch earthy funny videos for 20 minutes, or even like to polish your shoes at home, as long as you feel that the blocked breath is relieved after doing it, this is the method that is best for you.

Finally, a reminder, don’t turn “relieve stress” into another KPI. For example, you must meditate for 20 minutes every day. If you fail to do it on any day, you will become more anxious. This is completely unnecessary. Pressure is like sand in your shoes. You don't have to find a rest area in a five-star hotel to collapse. You can squat down on the roadside and take off your shoes to shake them off.