Mental health nursery rhymes

The core of the mental health nursery rhymes that can really help children aged 3-8 years old is never to let the children memorize the principles of emotional management, but to turn the "little awkwardness", "little joy" and "unnamed fire" that they can't express in their hearts into sentences that can be hummed casually. It not only provides an emotional outlet for children who have not learned to express accurately, but also leaves a soft grip for parents who are afraid of being out of touch to observe the state of their children.

I met a 5-year-old girl at a community child psychological service station a while ago. Her separation anxiety was particularly severe when she first entered middle school. Every morning when she went out, she would hold onto her mother's clothes and cry. When asked if she had been wronged, she shook her head and refused to say anything. Later, the teacher in class taught a song called "Little Cloud's Angry Song" with a few words: "Little cloud, frowning, raindrops, sliding down. After crying, I stretched a little, and the sun came out to hold my hand." ”Her mother later told me that now whenever she hears her baby humming the first two sentences at home, she knows that something unhappy happened today. Instead of chasing after her and asking, "What's wrong with you?"

In fact, there are quite big differences between academic circles and front-line practitioners on the creation logic of mental health children's songs. Academic researchers prefer to embed clear psychological guidance points. For example, it is best to directly include commanding sentences such as "I want to express my unhappiness loudly" and "I will take the initiative to make friends" in the lyrics. They feel that children who hum too much will naturally form conditioned reflexes and can use them when encountering corresponding scenes. But most early childhood education and children's social workers who deal with children every day don't think so. I know a preschool teacher who has been working for 12 years and said that if you give a child a nursery rhyme with hard instructions, it is like forcing a child to take vitamin tablets that he doesn't like. Then you turn around and spit them out, and mix them in the fruit puree before he is willing to taste them. Just take the popular "Digging", a teacher changed it to a mental health version, "dig and dig in the little emotions, plant the seeds of happiness, and bloom the flowers of happiness". It doesn't say any big principles, but when the children hum, they will naturally think of happy things like going to the park to play and eating delicious ice cream last time, and the effect of emotional regulation will be better.

When many parents ask me for children's song resources, their first words are, "Is there anyone who can teach my child not to lose his temper?" ”I have to tell them with a smile every time that if the first line of a children's song is "Children are not allowed to lose their temper," your child will most likely run away after just two sentences. The most taboo thing about mental health nursery rhymes is preaching right from the start, empathizing first and then talking about anything else. I've seen a children's song about crying before, but it didn't even mention "don't cry." The lyrics are, "When you cry, your little nose wrinkles, and the tears are like small splashes. After crying, you wipe your little face, and I'm still a powerful little monster." There was a 4-year-old boy who used to have trouble with his life. I rolled on the ground and later learned this song. Halfway through crying, I recited the lyrics to myself. As I recited, I raised my hand to wipe my tears. After a while, I broke down in tears and started laughing. I wanted to play Ultraman. It was 10 times more effective than an adult saying "There's no point in crying" and "Don't cry."

Some parents have asked me before, saying whether letting their children sing lyrics that mention anger and crying will intensify negative emotions? Actually not really. The most basic principle in children's psychological intervention is that "there are no right or wrong emotions." If you don't let him say "I'm angry," his emotions will not disappear. They will only turn into worse manifestations such as throwing toys, hitting people, and holding back nightmares. Being able to sing out his emotions is teaching him, "It's normal for me to have negative emotions, and there's no need to be afraid." With this step taken, half of the emotional counseling is completed.

If you really want to choose mental health children's songs that are suitable for your child, you really don't need to focus on the titles of "recommended by the Ministry of Education" and "compiled by experts". You can just find a few songs and play them to him. The ones he is willing to twist and hum along with are the best ones. I once met a little boy who made up a song by himself and repeated two lines over and over: "When I'm angry, I stamp my feet, and after I stamp my feet, I eat cookies." His mother thought this was a mess at first, but later she discovered that the baby would really stamp his feet every time he got angry, and then he would come to her asking for cookies, and after eating, he would be fine. Isn't this any more effective than any formal children's song written by an expert?

In fact, in the final analysis, is there any unified standard answer to mental health children's songs? If the child is willing to open his mouth to sing, feels comfortable after singing, and is even willing to change the lyrics and add a few little thoughts of his own, then the standard has been met. Last week, a little girl who was in the upper class came to me and said that she had changed new lyrics to the previous Little Cloud song: "Little Dark Cloud, go away quickly, I have ice cream and a trolley. If you are not angry, I will give you a bite." Listen, this is no closer to the essence of mental health education than any carefully polished professional creation.