Children's Mental Health Counseling Center

The Children's Mental Health Counseling Center is neither a "correction station for problem children" as misunderstood by the public, nor a training class to help parents domesticate "good children." Its core positioning is to provide a professional field of emotional counseling, psychological support, and developmental guidance for children and adolescents under the age of 18. The core goal has never been to polish children into standard products that meet social expectations, but to help every child who is stuck emotionally and trapped by the environment find a path to grow at his own pace.

When I was on duty at the front desk last Wednesday, I met a mother dragging a third-grade boy toward the door. The first thing she said was, "Teacher, please help me look at him. He can't sit still for three minutes in class, and he still can't finish his homework until twelve o'clock. Does he have ADHD?" Can it be corrected? ”

We encounter similar misunderstandings every day. The first reaction of many people when they enter the door is to see if there is a barbed wire fence or a "correction room". They find that our entire floor is covered with floor mats, there are Ultraman dolls piled in the sand pool, and there are colored clay and Lego on the shelves. Their first reaction is "Isn't this just a day care class?" ”

Actually it's not. Take the little boy who just couldn't sit still. Consultants with different orientations will give completely different plans - colleagues who follow the behavior modification school may first give him an attention span assessment, and then make a daily behavior reinforcement list for the parents. For example, every 15 minutes of concentration on homework can be redeemed for a small medal, and if you save 10, you can exchange for the toys you want. ； I was doing play therapy for children, and I spent 20 minutes with him digging for "treasures" in the sand pool before I found out the root of the problem: his desk faced the fish tank in the living room, and his parents sat on the sofa next to him after get off work to watch short videos. The volume was turned up. He wanted to take a look at the fish swimming around while writing two lines, and the funny sound effects of the short videos were still playing in his ears. It wasn't that he had an attention problem at all, but that the family simply didn't leave him any space to calm down.

We won’t say which school’s plan is better, the one that suits the family is right. The little boy finally adopted the traditional intervention program, which reduced the time for homework from 3 hours to 40 minutes in 21 days, and the effect was particularly good.

Many people think that the children who come here are "psychologically ill" children who need to come here only if they have been diagnosed with depression or anxiety. Last year we did annual case statistics and found that 42% of the visitors were actually for developmental consultation - some were in elementary school and could not fit into the new group due to a change of environment, some were unwilling to go to school because of unpleasant nicknames given by their classmates, and some just felt that their parents no longer loved them after having their second child, and they were so worried that no one could talk to them.

Last month, there was a little girl in fifth grade. When she first came here, she didn't even dare to raise her head. She said that the whole class laughed at her for being fat and she didn't want to go to school. Our art therapy teacher made pottery with her twice a week. She made various chubby cats and chubby rabbits. After doing it eight times, she took the little cup she made back to school and gave it to her friend who played best with her before. Now she goes to school normally. Last week, she came to give us a little card she drew by herself.

Oh, yes, the door handles of our center are hung with a lot of small rubber bands tied by children, Ultraman stickers, and colorful bracelets made by little girls. Every time the door is opened, it makes a clanking sound. It is not at all like the cold medical institution that everyone imagines. To put it bluntly, it is a place where children are willing to come and dare to speak their minds.

Speaking of which, I have to mention a very controversial statement on the Internet right now: many people say that children’s psychological counseling is an IQ tax, and it is useless to spend thousands of dollars on it.

I have seen parents who called us liars, and I have also seen parents who hugged us and cried and said, "I saved my child." The difference is really only two points: First, the compatibility between the counselor and the child. If you find a serious and rigid counselor for a little boy who is afraid of strangers, who will ask "Why are you unhappy" as soon as he sits down, it will definitely be useless. You have to find someone who can squat on the ground and play Ultraman and fight monsters with him. Only after he is familiar with it will he be willing to speak his mind.； Second, many parents think, "I will leave my child to you, and you can just help me improve it." However, most of the roots of children's psychological problems lie in the family. If parents still open their mouths and scold "Why are you so useless" and "What's the use of raising you" when parents come home, no matter how good the counseling effect is, they will not be retained.

I have been in this business for almost 8 years. To be honest, most of the time the people we tutor are not the children at all, but the parents. A mother didn't cry until she talked to me for the third time. She said that when she was a child, her parents asked "boys are not allowed to cry." So when she saw her son crying, she instinctively became irritated, thinking that he was pretentious and ignorant. Later, she changed it herself. When she saw her son crying, she hugged him first and asked him if he was wronged. Within a month, most of his previous problems of acting out and rolling around were gone.

If your family has encountered emotional problems with your child recently, and you are not sure whether you should come for consultation, don’t label your child as “problematic” first, and don’t scare yourself. Just like asking the doctor if your child needs to take medicine when he has a cough, make a phone call to discuss the situation first. If it is suitable, then come back. If it is not suitable, there is no loss.

After all, raising a baby is not without its ups and downs, we are just the ones helping out.